Making your Way out of the Cave
In 1979, shortly after a conversation with my father about how my dream of playing professional sports wouldn’t materialize, I found myself engaging in what many 18-year-old college freshmen did: indulging in too many adult beverages.
One fall evening that same year, my suitemates invited me on a spelunking adventure. Having experienced spelunking during my Boy Scout days, I agreed, emboldened by those beverages. We headed out to some caverns near James Madison University late at night, armed with flashlights. As we explored deep into the cave, we eventually decided it was time to head back, mindful of our 8 a.m. freshman English class.
On our way out, I got stuck in a narrow opening I had passed through earlier. Panic set in as I struggled to free myself. My flashlight became my tool for knocking out enough of the opening to escape. The ride back to campus was quiet as I silently vowed never to go spelunking under such circumstances again.
Fast-forward to 1996. After a banner sales year, I set a new goal for 1997: run my first marathon. With a friend’s and ultramarathoner’s guidance, I trained for six months, pushing my limits with an 18-mile run as my longest pre-race effort.
On race day, with temperatures at a brisk 34 degrees, I joined the slow group and followed my plan. At the 14-mile turnaround, I spotted my wife and kids cheering me on, fueling my motivation. But as I approached a sloping uphill mile, I hit “the wall.” My legs cramped, my pace slowed, and I flashed back to the panic in that cave years before. Finishing the marathon mirrored my escape from the cave—struggling but determined, learning invaluable lessons about maintaining composure in stressful moments.
On January 15, 2009, I faced another high-stress situation: surviving a plane crash and escaping from a sinking aircraft in 36-degree water. Those earlier experiences prepared me to maintain my composure, focus my mindset, and navigate the chaos.
Years later, during the 2020 pandemic, I watched a story about Courtney Dauwalter, a renowned ultramarathoner. She described “the pain cave,” a mental space reached when discomfort peaks. Instead of fearing it, she visualized a plan to push through, transforming the cave from a place of suffering to an opportunity for growth.
When she enters this cave, she visualizes that has helped her in the past push beyond what she thought was previously physically possible.
You cannot just summon this moment; you have to be doing something hard to arrive in the cave. When you learn how to manage your way out of the cave, you develop a new level of patience, perseverance, and belief in yourself, what I call the “first victory.”
On September 14, 2024, I entered my own “pain cave” again while swimming solo in the Pacific Ocean. Cramping legs and disoriented sightlines tested my resilience. Drawing from past experiences, I regained composure and repeated affirmations rooted in faith,”I have been here before, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, All power comes through Christ, The Kingdom of God is within me” and knowing I really wasn’t alone, persevered. I emerged from that “cave,” celebrating later with heroes and patriots.
Life will bring moments when you enter a dark, daunting “cave.” These challenges can feel overwhelming, but if you maintain composure, exercise patience, and hold onto faith and self-belief, you can chip your way out of the cave. Emerging from the cave reveals transformative opportunities that lead to a limitless life.