Welcome Endings as a way to open the Door to new Beginnings

Years ago, a close colleague and friend was helping me launch a new company. She was brilliant and direct, and I valued her input immensely.

As we embarked on a new project, I laid out the plan, timeline, and my criteria for success. At first, things seemed to be moving forward. But soon, we started missing deadlines, and frustration set in. While I was working hard on content development, marketing, and sales, this particular project wasn’t progressing as I had hoped.

Stress and costs were rising, so I reached out to my coach for guidance. He told me that the lack of progress was not only my responsibility but also my fault. Although I understood it was my responsibility, I questioned whether it was my fault.

He explained that while my colleague was highly skilled, I had placed her in an impossible situation, failing to set her up for success. My coach advised that I should end the business aspect of our relationship for both of us to grow. He reminded me that by closing this chapter, I could make room for new beginnings.

More recently, the situation reversed. A trusted friend and business confidant began to move in a new direction, ending our relationship as well as some other connections we both had. Initially, I felt lost, caught in what Dan Sullivan describes as “the Gap.” My usual productivity slipped, and instead of focusing on what I’d gained from the relationship, I dwelled on its end.

In a mentoring session, a mentee shared a similar experience—someone close had left her life, leaving her struggling in her own “gap.” She asked me why relationships that seem strong one day can dissolve the next.

I explained that very few things in life are permanent. Sometimes, endings happen for a reason, and “the good cannot begin until the bad ends.” I shared a story of a time in a green room at a morning show when someone, visibly upset, abruptly left. I initially judged him but later learned he had recently gone through a divorce and lost his job.

While we were all there as survivors of a plane crash, he viewed that day through a lens of loss and devastation. He couldn’t appreciate the gift of being alive until he let go of the negative meaning he had attached to what many saw as a “Miracle.”

I encouraged her to consider how the meaning she was assigning to this ending was influencing her emotions. Reframing her perspective from “gap” to “gain” could help her see the growth she’d experienced through that relationship.

I’ve learned that these endings often happen for one of three reasons:

1. The person felt they needed this change to grow.
2. The relationship had grown “sick” and was no longer able to heal.
3. The relationship had naturally run its course.

We ended our conversation by discussing my decision to leave my position at Oracle.

I loved my role and valued my colleagues, but to grow in alignment with my mission, I needed to learn new skills and develop new associations. Leaving allowed me to pursue those skills and grow further.

Ending things can often empower us to succeed. Ask yourself if you’re holding onto things that need to end. In my life, I’ve sometimes tried to revive relationships that should have been let go, costing me time, money, and self-respect.

Are there any relationships holding back your growth, or that have simply run their course? Recognizing these relationships and embracing their endings can be a powerful step toward creating a new path and beginning your own journey to a limitless life.